A list. I guess.

Things I've done lately:


I might have mentioned this- I don't really fucking remember, honestly- but I went to go see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, in 3D, at the midnight premier, in costume. I was a Gryffindor student. I wanted to talk to the news people, as they were interviewing people in costumes. Oculous reparo!


Managed my eye hair. Brows and lashes. I waxed and plucked, and measured my eyelashes. That's right. I took the time out of my day to measure my fucking eyelashes. For the record, they're 6/8ths of an inch. That's pretty good. I probably spend too much time and money on my eyelashes. Eh.


I've tanned a lot. Apparently, being tan makes you like Snooki? What the fuck. I'm golden brown, like a well-done piece of toast- not orange like a traffic cone. There is a difference, please don't be a hater on my precancerous skin, ok?


Gotten my car AC fixed. Please scroll down to see my previous plights and perils of car air conditioning. However, now it works on all four settings, Barely Blowing, Low-Blow, Rather Drafty, and Nazi Wind Tunnel settings, respectively. It also turns off. And then back on. Which is a huge improvement. 


I've read about 50 new books lately. I'd list them all, but I don't want to. I highly recommend, however, the following: Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - Ransom Riggs, and The Magicians - Lev Grossman. 
I am also rather excited for November Eigth, at which date the final book in the Inheritance Cycle comes out. On that same note, I am ashamed to admit that a mere ten days later, I am going to see Breaking Dawn. In theaters. But, you know, not in a costume. How did I get on that topic? Go read some books. Another good one is Apathy and Other Small Victories - Paul Neilan. If you're really interested in the books I read, I might type a list one day, as I read more books than anyone I know or have ever met, or probably ever will meet- and if you would care to contest this claim, I would be more than happy to make a bet that I read more books than you- and then win said bet. My two favorite things. Books and gambling. Again, where was I?


I have an interview coming up. Hopefully I get it, and I will be the new office assistant at Clegg's Termite and Pest Control on Haywood Rd. I think I can assist a pest control office. Hi, my name is Spenser, would you like a can of Raid? Perfect- they should hire me already.


I quit smoking Newports. They were making me cough up some pretty gross green lung butter, and talk like a frog being squeezed. Cough hackhack. Point being, I've switched to Marlboro Smooths, because I am a goddamned cowboy- and don't you fuckin' forget it.


I completed my Diamond and Pearl Pokedex. That's right. I have all 487 Pokemon- from Bulbasaur to Giratina. And most of them I caught legitimately! Except for like, Vespiquen, but that is because I have not the patience to sit in front of a tree for 35 hours and hope for the right Pokemon to show up. Cheaters always win.


My Chihuahua Morris and I made a pilgrimage to Florida. It was hot and I had a panic attack in Ikea. Nothing of any other real interest happened on this trip. Other than my air conditioning quitting halfway down, thus leaving me to roast like a little girl ham for about 6 hours. I love tanning beds, but sitting in one for more than 30 minutes is just about my limit- much less rolling one down the highway at 75mph.


After my trip to Sunny Tropical Florida, I went to Sunny Less Tropical Charleston SC. This trip was only for two days, and I did more stuff than I did on my entire week long trip to Florida. I went to the beach, the SC Aquarium  I befriended a sea-turtle, I bounced on jumpy castles, and I schooled everyone on how to properly annihilate a pot full of crab legs. Maybe I'll show you sometime. Maybe I won't. The key is in knowing how to crack the claws apart. 


And, most importantly, I went into credit card debt for the first time! That's right! Some asshole hit my chihuahua in his Ford F-350, which is really not a fair match by any means, and I had to take him to the vet. His name is Morris, and he wasn't a smart dog before, but after all the brain trauma and fluid draining I had to pay for, he's even dumber. But cute, and alive, and the debt was worth it. I think. Care Credit has notoriously high interest rates, and I do still owe them $506.17, but all's well that ends well. Also, fuck you, you dog hitting asshole. He didn't even stop! 


Other than that, I spend my days perusing Craiglist for employment, looking at myself in the mirror, driving around, smoking profusely, listening to loud music, reading too many books, and organizing my highly organized closet. At this point, I think I just like looking in there. It's like Narnia, only without the fauns, or the witch, or, you know, the other world in the back.


Ta-ta!