Belated introductions.

Hi. My name is Spenser. I was born under the Chinese sign of the horse. On the placemats at the take out joint behind Publix, it tells me that "Popular and Attractive to the Opposite Sex, the horse is ostentatious and often impatient. Marry a Tiger or a Dog early, but never a rat." I don't know if I am entirely sure what that means.

      Now, dear reader, now that I have captured the mind and entertained the heart, I suppose that I could open up a bit more than just relaying knowledge I learned while in search of nourishment. My principle interests include mind altering hallucinogenics. In the words of Hunter S Thompson(as portrayed by Johnny Depp in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas) "There is nothing more depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge." Shame really, for your humble narrator (myself and yours truly) is neither a man nor under the influence of Ether. According to protocol, the enrichment center can no longer deceive the reader with outright fabrications. Please proceed to the next testing chamber for further analysis.

      Don't you want to know what it would be like to look the way you feel? I feel like an acid junkie, college flunkie, lovey dovey ghetto princess. My hobbies and interests include staying, going, sleeping and baking. (The last of which contains more than first assumed, presumed, consumed.) I consider myself to be very proficient in the art of Turducken, a whole stuffed camel. Traditional wedding dishes.

Medieval times changed my life. Not the restaurant, the year 1000.  Many millennia have gone by since sealing the brick inside the mouth of the cadaver, to prevent vampires from returning to life to feed.

I have three friends. Two cats. I left my heart in Portland. Or did I? I can't very well conceive a person continuing to survive without proper circulation of blood in the arteries.

      I wonder. I hate old people. I get behind them in traffic and beat my head on the horn and cry. I saw the Smokey The Bear turning 65 commercial, and I thought the candles of the elderly were getting snuffed out at 65. Hopes, dreams.

     Today as I rose from a deep slumber at 5pm, I found I didn't really rise at all. Can you truly rise if you sleep standing up? The word rising implies that one is in a higher position than previous, however, my state did not change. Lots of things are constant. Have you happened to notice how old the rocks are?

     Certainly there is to be a continuation of life beyond 2012. The Mayans just got lazy on the calendar after so long. Can you really place blame on them? Calendar writing is bound to be dreadfully painfully boring, regardless of how much you stare at the stars.

     Long story short: I have no idea what to do with my life; everything good is too fucking expensive anyway. Shit bro.