Here it is, along with two bonus pot-thoughts!
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A conscious and sentient being also has the gift and ability to gather information about their surroundings and use that information to make informed decisions. Take, for example, a frail elderly lady with a walker and a penchant for feeding stray cats. Her name is Pearla and she lives alone with no family to speak of. One night after feeding her hoards of felines in make shift bowls crafted from tissue boxes and milk jugs, she retreats shakily into her meager dwelling. Pearla’s mind is not as sharp as it once was, and in her haste to catch Matlock, Pearla neglected to latch her screened porch door properly. Later tonight as she slumbers, Pearls veritable armies of feral cats will enter her domain. They will slip silently into her bedroom where she rests, and they will devour her aged and baglike body in a blitzkrieg of claws, fur, and contented mewing.
Had Pearla been immune to the ravages of time, her senses would not have become dulled and she would perhaps have noticed not latching her door. Had her ears been in their prime, Pearla would have heard the ear piercing yowls as the cats entered her home with nothing but murder in their eyes and malice in their hearts. Oh, but Pearla could feel. She could feel every claw as they grazed her bones, every rip of a fang in her skin. She could feel everything as her life was snuffed like a candle at the paws of her former feline companions.
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"I'd ride a bear. Saddle it up and go."
"I wouldn't, I'd ride it bear-back."
Get it? Bear back?
"I wouldn't, I'd ride it bear-back."
Get it? Bear back?
"If my period is even a little bit late, I take a pregnancy test, even if I haven't gotten laid in months."
"God wouldn't give you an immaculate conception."
"Yeah, because wouldn't it be awful when I aborted the Saviour?"
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